Be in the Love that Bookends your Seasons

Sep 6

Memorial Day 2024. Whit and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in Chautauqua, our happy place, with our kids. It was a lovely weekend. Our big kids, 24, 23, 21, chose to be with US to celebrate. Good meals, good golf, long walks, and good talks.

The kids thought I was crazy for hiring a photographer, Robyn, for a family photo shoot (we have not done this in years mostly because the bigger kids are far away). Ellie was sick, the boys had to borrow Whit’s clothes, and we were all pasty pale. All the reasons that 20 somethings DO NOT want to take a family photo.

But when mom decides, mom decides. So, there we were, in the backyard of our summer home. Trying to get into it. Trying to have fun.

Our almost 12 year old golden retriever Sydney felt left out while barking from her lead. So, Robyn said “let’s include her!”

At the time, we did not know what we know now. At the time, we did not know Syd would bookend our summer, Memorial Day to Labor Day for the last time.

Yes, she is still with us. She is wagging her tail, while breathing heavy. She is taking her meds, while incontinent through the night. She is “doggy talking” to her siblings, who have all seen her and been with her in the past week to give their last cuddles, snuggles, and ear rubs. She is heading to New Haven to see Ellie play soccer, while needing help getting in and out of the car.

Sydney came into our life when we were transitioning from one home to another, one school to another, elementary to middle school; where time was a different pace, and life was moving and growing rapidly in our little world.

Now, the kids are grown. Now, they are loving and caring young adults, navigating their way in the big world, far away from us. Yet, still coming home to see us, to see the dog, and take silly family photos.

We know Syd’s days are numbered. We also know ours are numbered as well.

So, don’t give up on love. And for all those who are sending your kids off to new schools, new places, remember, that even when it’s challenging, and maybe a bit lonely… they love you.

Keep loving your people, your pets and doing the silly stuff, even with the eye rolling and dragging of feet.

Those big kids will come home. Much like my boys did over Labor Day.

They will love a little bit differently or maybe we will just feel the tending to the heart more.

A little more love can go a long way:

A longer hug.

A longer conversation at the dinner table.

A question, “how are you doing, mom?”

And that will be enough. It will hold you over in your grief. It will carry you into your next season.

Love does that.

It tethers you and helps you bring closure — bookends to your season.

Whatever or whoever your heart is tending to today, be in that love.

Yours in Health,