Being Present in the Moments
What does it mean to have a college graduate - take two? From minutes to seconds. There are moments in your life that you know you need to savor and be present.
My son, William, graduated this past weekend from St Lawrence University with a degree in Economics and a minor in Music. To say I am proud is an understatement.
When I looked into his eyes and heart this week, I could see that it was a surreal experience he was going through. I remember that feeling asking yourself - “What’s next? How did this go by so fast?”
As a mom, my emotions are quite similar - only exasperated by a ten fold. Here’s what I mean by that.
I stare into his baby blue eyes remembered a moment 20 years ago: when he was still two years old screaming and crying for his “ya yo” (his name for the pacifier). Christopher, his older brother, just one year older, was running a toy dump truck over his head and making the standard “vroom vroom” sound, which only made William scream more. My newborn, Ellie was attached to me on the shoulder. I needed just a moment to collect myself, so I laid Ellie in the crib and though she proceeded to wail, I walked away, snuck into the bathroom and closed the door, sinking down to the floor. With all three little ones at high pitch, I asked God, “please just give me a few minutes of quiet and peace. Please let me walk out that door where they don’t need to be held for a few minutes. Please give me patience”
I cannot remember what happened next. But in a blink of an eye, all three kids are grew up.
And here we are - attending the college graduation. This last weekend, we all pulled into the driveway of the air bnb and we walked over to do our family group hug. This has been a rappole tradition for a while now. Whenever someone comes, leaves, or joins our immediate family of 5, we group hug it out. This is definitely something the kids are doing for mom. And if you are in the wrong order of the group hug, it can be awkward (who’s up and who’s hugging down). But you get the gist, but it’s about the moment.
And this is when I noticed my feelings were starkly different from 20 years past. I want to hold on to the hug for as long as I can. This time I prayed, “please God, give them patience to hold on for just a few more seconds.”
Those minutes I longed for peace before, and now I crave just a second or two longer wrapped up in this hug. It’s minutes to seconds, parents. That’s how the moments in time shift. And I am sure there will be seasons ahead where I will relish in some more minutes and longer phases of time. But I am NOT in it right now.
To stay in the seconds of these moments, I have to hold them close a little longer. I have to hold the thought a little longer. I have to let it linger, longer. The best way I know how to do this is to stay present.
It’s not just about the moment. It’s about staying in it. Not just snapping the photo and moving to the next thing. Not posting about it, quite yet. But staying IN IT. Holding it. Feeling it. Savoring it.
What do you need to stay in and be present with during these may-hem days? Get after savoring it, and let the rest go. Because time is of the present.
